Real Student Stories

Meet Rees

Social isolation and a sudden bereavement triggered depression for Rees on his year abroad, spiralling into increasing anxiety and sudden self harm. He is re-attempting his final year, having finally opened up to his parents... more >>

Picture of Hiresh

Picture of Iona

Picture of Charlie story archive >> '; document.getElementById('storyimage').src='images/mike100.jpg';">

Picture of Mike

Also in "Depression In Context"...

“I made lots of plans about leaving home to go where no one knew me. I spent a lot of time looking on the internet for ways to die. I felt the worst thing that could happen to me would be to try to kill myself and not die, because then everyone would think that I just did it as a cry for attention. Then I felt that I was doing it for just that reason. So I was confused and questioning myself all the time.” Elena

“I think I knew deep down that I was never going to kill myself and so doing stuff like that to myself was a way of scaring myself into surviving.” Ben

Students Against Depression
text only print preview print page close preview

Making Sense Of Suicide

Feelings Barometer

A taboo subject

Suicide is a highly emotive subject, still often treated as taboo in most cultures. This means that thinking about suicide can leave someone feeling very isolated and alone. It also means that even though it is fairly common, of all the forms of depressed thinking, suicidal thinking is least likely to be aired, discussed and critically evaluated.

Deadly tunnel vision

Isolation and painful despair in conjunction with depressed thinking habits make for a very risky combination. Suicidal thinking often arises out of hopelessness about being able to overcome difficult life problems. When someone is desperate for relief from suffering, yet stuck in tunnel vision at the bottom of the depression habit spiral, they are less able to apply problem-solving skills and are vulnerable to the deadly over-simplification of suicidal thinking.

So how do we make sense of suicide?

Several different paths of thought can lead in the direction of suicide. All are distorted by the narrowed perspective of depressed thinking habits:

"How bad am I feeling?"
People often first think about suicide not so much as an immediate option, but more as a kind of "barometer" to measure how bad they"re feeling. When you are feeling very low, it can seem comforting to recognise that you do not feel quite low enough to commit suicide. This is a very risky habit, because repetition of the thought brings a seemingly comforting familiarity and dulls the initial instinctive recoil from danger.
"Am I a coward or a hero?"
Debate over whether suicide is heroic or cowardly is another irrelevant over-simplification. This kind of all-or-nothing thinking diverts attention from more complex solutions to the problems which have lead to the suicidal thinking in the first place.
"I've got to sort it out on my own"
An over-emphasis on individualism, common in western cultures, creates barriers to help-seeking. Over-valuing "independence" means that when someone can't find their own solution to their problems suicide becomes the only "answer". Yet many people can be, and have been, helped to survive suicidal thinking and overcome depression.
"Won't they be better off without me?"
One angle on suicide focuses on its self-sacrificial aspect, not wanting to be a burden. Yet the distorted perspective of believing that 'they"ll be better off without me" tends to be greeted with stunned bewilderment and terrible pain by those who will supposedly be 'better off'.
I'll show them!"
For some, the desire to cause this pain and bewilderment, or at least to have people take them seriously, is a strong motivation. This is the ultimate in cutting off your nose to spite your face - again an over-simplified solution to the complex problem of engaging in meaningful relationships.
Copycat suicide
It is an unfortunate phenomenon that one suicide can sometimes seem to create a kind of domino effect, sparking off a series of suicides in the affected community. More commonly, a suicide in the community is shocking enough to jolt support networks into action for others.
"What's the point to life anyway?"
Pervading cynicism in modern societies creates a strongly depression-inducing cultural context. Cynicism denigrates all that is constructive and hopeful and drains away the meaning from life. Depression and suicidal thinking thrive in the vacuum left when people stop investing hope in their lives.

To be or not to be?

The famous "To be or not to be..?" speech in Shakespeare's play Hamlet reminds us of another aspect to thinking about suicide. It reflects the strong tradition in many cultures of contemplating death as a way of bringing into focus the value of life.

Depression and the meaning of life

Pain, suffering and the inevitability of death are profoundly difficult issues not just for individuals but for all of humanity. See the page on depression and the meaning of life for more discussion of how depression and suicidal thinking might be the starting point on a path of addressing the "big questions" in your life in a more meaningful way.

depression and the meaning of life >>

Links

More about dealing with suicidal thoughts: thinking about suicide , surviving suicidal thoughts , desperate right now?
More about the meaning of life: depression and the meaning of life
More about social and cultural aspects of depression: depression sociology , depression in context
More about depression: the depression habit spiral , depressed thinking , stress, anxiety & anger
More about constructive skills and strategies: tackling depression , learning self care , practising positive habits , focusing outward
More about how to find some help: getting help and support , what's stopping me getting help?

© 2007 Charlie Waller Memorial Trust British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy Award for Innovation 2006 var gaJsHost=(("https:"==document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker=_gat._getTracker("UA-11283710-1"); pageTracker._trackPageview();

Change Text Only Settings

Graphic version of this page

Real Student Stories

Making Sense Of Suicide

A taboo subject

Deadly tunnel vision

So how do we make sense of suicide?

"How bad am I feeling?"

"Am I a coward or a hero?"

"I've got to sort it out on my own"

"Won't they be better off without me?"

I'll show them!"

Copycat suicide

"What's the point to life anyway?"

To be or not to be?

Depression and the meaning of life

Next:

Links