Story 8

She thought she was a 'super student', but unexpressed anger and stress with college deadlines triggered a downward spiral into self-harm, eating disorders and suicide contemplation...

Masking pain

I thought I was the super student as everyone else did, always getting good grades, a shoulder to cry on, good job... It turns out though that I was just masking my own pain. Unable to express anger I fell into a self destructive pattern, that could nearly have turned fatal. I was diagnosed with depression by my counsellor. A friend told me I should go and see her.

Downward spiral

A lot of things caused my breakdown — being treated like a child at home, and the ever building deadlines that came within two months of the start of the year. It got to a point when I was contemplating suicide, and I was self harming. During the night I would have flash backs and dreams of cutting. I developed eating disorders, and put on a stone in a month, that I'm still trying to lose. It completely changed my life. I never thought that I could sink so low.

Opening up

It was only after I saw a counsellor that I began to feel better. She taught me that I'm not being stupid and that I was ill. Although it may be difficult for some, I found being open to people I trusted helped. My teachers started to ease off, and offered help. Some even offered to talk if no one else would. Talking does help, and when I finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents what was happening, they helped too. I know it's hard for some students to talk, I had put it off for so long I didn't realise how ill I was.

Recommend counselling

I will always recommend counsellors — girls you can even request a female counsellor. They don't tell anyone and understand your point of view. I found the talking treatment worked to help me move forward; and now I have a good set of January exam results and a place at uni, showing that you can move on from illness.