What's Stopping Me Getting Help?

Beliefs depression loves to see

"If I ask for help it means I'm weak/dependent/a failure."

"Only crazy people have mental health problems - no way is that me!"

"Big boys (or girls) don't cry. I just have to tough this one out."

"I'm a grown up. I have to do this on my own, not look for crutches."

"No one else has any idea what I'm feeling, so how could they help?"

"This touchy-feely, navel-gazing counselling stuff is for wimps or loonies..."

Depression has you where it wants you!

Thinking in these ways is part of the depressed thinking habit which helps sustain and reinforce the depression habit spiral. They include unrealistic all-or-nothing and perfectionist elements, or reflect stereotypical cultural attitudes.

What are you afraid of?

Asking for help can feel very scary. You might fear rejection or ridicule, or you might fear losing control. You may be concerned about dependence - on medication or on people. You may have been let down in the past and fear it happening again. You might fear not getting enough help. If you are actively suicidal, you may fear losing your freedom.

Doing nothing is also risky

You will find these fears addressed in various ways throughout this site. All actions are risky, but so is inaction - doing nothing about the depression affecting you is likely to allow it to intensify. You may put yourself at serious risk.

How to seek help wisely

• Find out more about the various forms of support and help (see other pages in this section).
• Identify the depressed thinking habits affecting your decisions.
• Challenge the cultural stereotypes affecting your decisions.
• Decide which form/s of help you feel most comfortable with.
• Give it a go - what have you really got to lose?

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